It’s effin 2019, Black History Month has had it’s moment, and now here we are in March.

Let that marinate people…MARCH!!!

I can hardly believe it and yessss I know it’s been a hot minute since I last dropped a line but let me tell you, life has been nuts. I can’t complain but it’s been quite different from anything I’ve ever experienced.

I’ve been doing so much that by the end of the week, I’m generally left wondering where the time has gone, where to even begin restarting my creative work and how to maintain consistency. I thought I’d be doing all the things since I don’t have many distractions here. Shoot, I even thought I was going to be writing you people like 3 times a week, but then life was like NOPE…#NewJobNewYou girl. So I stopped trying to force what didn’t feel natural and I surrendered to being present in my experience here.

As you can imagine, it’s been a major adjustment, picking up and moving to Cali from Texas. And I honestly think I’ll feel more settled after this first year is up but at least I can say I’m getting used to my new gig, and raising my adorable puppy Cookie the CEO (named after Tim Cook). Yes it’s a funny story on how I selected his name, we’ll talk about it later. Anywho, this white little floofball has managed to take up the free time I thought I had so now life is even more full. As we speak, he’s spread all of his toys across my living room and has literally taken over. When I move, he moves. When he sneezes, it’s usually in my face. When I’m not keeping a close eye on him, he’s either making something a fire hydrant or into who knows what. I don’t have a life anymore. I might even be telling people I’m a single Black mother in Silicon Valley at this point. They totally know I’m joking btw…Well, hopefully.

Ok, what else can I think…Oh! I made two trips down to Houston in November and December last year for my cousin’s wedding and then for the holiday break. Let’s first start off with how amazing it was to have a proper break. Geez I didn’t know what I was missing! It was definitely a nice change up, going back home, but definitely interesting staying there after being in California for a bit. Of course I loved being with my family and friends but I realized there was absolutely nothing left for me outside of my familial life. I tried EVERYTHING in Texas and nothing really stuck for me. I did music, was on the scene, went to the best places, dated the most interesting people, had the BEST of friends but I never really built the way I knew I could. By the end of the trip, I realized it was time for a change, and that’s why I left for California. I had to take a leap of faith, now look at me…new city, new job, new life–new outlook.

Anywho, all is well and I have so much stuff to share. In the mean time, here is a blip of my life from around October to February, presented to you wonderful people in “thumbnails” until I can figure out this whole updated blog platform lol! Talk soon. <3

-D. Wright

So…I’m officially settled into California.

Well, I won’t take on a California ID quite yet but I’m here and there’s no turning back. I’ve finally come to terms with it.

I did this to myself.

For years, I had been annoyingly declarative and telling folks I was going to live in California. I thought it would be LA but the Big Guy pretty much said otherwise. 

When I stepped off the plane, I just knew my life would be different from that day forward. Houston would be my forever-home but the world would become the place I’d lay my head.

I’m proud to say (again) I’m a full-time writer for a extremely popular technology company in Silicon Valley.

I’m excited, I’m nervous, I’m proud. My life is completely insane.

I remember when everyone, including my parents, thought the only route for a Creative Writing degree major would be in education at best. Everyone thought I clearly had lost the last piece of good common sense God gave me. Now look, while I absolutely love and respect teachers, I wanted more beyond the classroom. I wanted the world. No one could see how a person like me could shoot for the world with a less serious title from a non-prestigious univeristy. They couldn’t see it. I could barely see it to be honest. I desired a path that would allow me to be impactful and creative, that’s all I really knew. I fought as a songwriter, I fought as an intern, as a temp, as an admin, and as a retail employee to dream for more. I wanted more. I’ve always wanted more.

Giving up was not an option.

So here I am after climbing and struggling, and climbing and praying, and sinking and climbing. I somehow became a full-time professional creative with insurance, benefits, 401K, and stock in a world of people who look nothing like me. Yes…The girl from Homestead, Houston Texas has stock options. And I’m not wealthy by ANY means, believe me #theseCalitaxes. I’m sure I’ll get there though because I’m definitely working on it and I know it will be a journey. I’m just excited to finally get somewhere in life with my voice and that’s probably one of the most fulfilling things out of this whole adventure…The world gets to hear me and sometimes, they don’t even know it.

I think I mentioned it before that I hadn’t been posting because it took me a little bit of time to move, get settled and gather myself. I had to come to terms with my new life, or at least my life for now, and that there was no turning back. I’m still telling myself, everyday, that there is no going back. I left my family, friends, love and all that to find me. It’s already happening quicker than I could have even imagined.

Have faith in yourself.

I’ve promised myself to be brave. I mean, adults get scared and lonely too. I vowed I would make it back to my beloved South when my assignment was done because I clearly have things to do in the world.

Shoot, in less than 6 months, I’ve worked on national campaigns with my new team, released an EP, met some unexpectedly amazing people, celebrated my birthday, and all kinds of other glorious randomness. I guess I can afford to keep the party going for a bit.

When have you had to be brave? Is there a challenge you just don’t think you can face? Do it, you’ve got it! If you don’t think so, drop me a line. <3

-D.Wright

A few thoughts while on my plane ride…

This week, I decided to do something completely insane and totally out of my character.

For the first time in my life, I decided to hop on a plane to New York (a city I’ve never been to), alone and during one of the biggest events of the year – the Grammy Awards.

Initially I had a partner in crime who was set to take New York by storm with me. We purchased our tickets months ago for a steal but after a cluster of roadblocks and set backs, she decided to skip out on what could could potentially be a bomb of a trip. I don’t mean a good bomb either. I probably shouldn’t be typing this while on a plane but it’s legitimately what I’m thinking while heading into one of the most intimidating places I’ve heard of in America. Just know all the signs pointed to a big fat no.

Something kept tugging at me though, it said “Go, you don’t want to miss this.” The last time I heard that voice, my car was saved from torrential flooding. This intuition wasn’t met without some opposition though. I went down a tunnel of terrible “what ifs” that included worst case scenarios like being robbed, getting lost a la Home-Alone-style and without a Talkboy to record my last of days, being completely solo for four days, and all kinds of other crazy things I’m sure I could handle because I’m adulting got-dog-it. I’m a real adult, ok?!

Thank God I had a couple loving gnats in my ear who threatened me for about an hour with the consequences of not taking healthy risks. They wished me all the blessings I could handle as I traveled and encouraged me to step out of my comfort zone and to be less of a wet blanket. Hi Whitney and Angela, you guys suck but I appreciate you both :-). I honestly thought Angela would surely slap me at some point, but a couple of her classic f-bombs and encouragement set me straight. I figured I should listen. I mustered up the courage to reach out to some of my long time friends and committed myself to my first ever adventure, well kind of.

My New York friends gave me wonderful perspective, offered up their homes and even their networks while I hung out in the Big Apple. I’m so appreciative to know selfless and supportive people but even after those exchanges, I still looked for an out. Then I told my dad what I was about to do and he simply asked “how are you getting to the airport?” And just like that, I had a ride to the airport and I knew there was no turning back, there was no out. I was going to New York. No lie y’all, I was a little shocked because this was the same man I generally would have to book out a few weeks with to get a ride! He has his own service, where he does this for a living so I thought I was going to be Ubering my butt to BushIntercontinental! I sat there dumbfounded like “Alright God, are you sure?” but I knew the answer. I was supposed to be on this trip. I mean come on! I even found a hotel room in Times Square for a reasonable rate 5 hours before my flight (thanks De)!

Man…I’m sitting here on this plane even now in disbelief as I type but yeah, I booked a place just to help balance out my anxieties. I’m not quite ready for an Airbnb situation in an overwhelming city so since I decided getting a hotel would help with my new experience. Next time I think I’ll try Airbnb or a friend’s house though, especially because I don’t anticipate making a solo trip back at the last minute any time soon.

Anyway, I’m sure I’ll have something to report back. Just know, today this whole thing feels right. I know I’m moving in the right direction and there’s nothing more fulfilling than knowing that you’re actively taking steps to changing the course of your life.

More to come later. <3

-D.Wright

January 2018 is here and like many of you, I’m wondering where did the time go?

It felt like just yesterday I was bringing in 2017 with my girlfriends and blissfully twirling around the kitchen blowing party favors. Yes we were having that total Waiting to Exhale moment and that night was like magic – then came the rest of the year. There were personal challenges, family tragedies, political chaos, natural disasters and all the things I never even considered being concerned about when I was a kid. All I knew back then was that life was a magical thing to live and everything seemed so amazing and new.

Do You Believe In Magic?

Funny enough, I often times wonder about magic. Now for you non-dreamers, this is where the buck might stop. You don’t want to keep going. My whole life I’ve believed in magic. I believed that the world could shift and bend to make miraculous things happen. I always associated this magic with a God power, but it was magical nonetheless. I remember feeling joy, unadulterated joy expectantly knowing the world was my oyster, and mine for the keeping but then I grew up. I left Neverland. Shortly after realizing I was doomed to be a full grown woman and an epic cry with a couple of glasses of Pinot Grigio, I began to really think. The magic never left me, time was always there. Miracles never left, they were all revealed in time. Time – the very thing people said could be both a gift and a curse. The only curse about it was I felt like I never had enough of it. I knew I would take advantage of it and abuse it, shoot I even ran from it, but I never thought it was cursed. I took time for granted.

I think I sometimes still run from the magic of time but after a few failures and meltdowns, I suppose I’m ready to stop running and start dealing. What we do with our time can drastically alter the paths of our lives. When you hit your thirties, you really begin to embrace adulthood with all the happy moments and struggles you experience. I’m learning, it’s ok to reflect on the things that change with time (for better or worse) but the magic is in how you actually use that time to move forward past your challenges. I thought life would be rainbows and sunshine and that I had forever. I’ll tell you what last forever the sting of knowing one moment potentially changed your whole life for the worst but what about those moments that change you for the best? In an instant things can disappear or reappear in front of your very eyes. Life can change instantaneously and that is amazing to me.

Respecting the Time Given

I’m now learning how to respect the time I have and with all its contingencies. It makes more sense to live in the moment and watch the magic unfold before my eyes instead of revisiting the moments though drunken nights on my sofa listening to sad music about failed attempts at life. Respect the time you have on this Earth DeAndre, Sade told you to cherish the day girl! 

What does any of this even mean and why am I writing it to this sea of no-one? It means DO SOMETHING. Before we all know it 2019 will be here. Will we want to be those losers talking about what we shoulda-coulda-woulda done or will we be doers who won’t miss a beat in life? Will we be prepared for challenges, or exciting twists and turns? Will we tell the people we care about that we love them, will we express and emote to one another? Will we let our actions accelerate the magic of time? Will you? I know I will because I want to harness its power.

Cheers to 2018!

Now here I am, the fourth day of January 2018 and stepping even further into adulthood. I’m appreciating the time I’m granted more than ever before. I’m refreshed and prepared to truly work with the time I have. I’m ready to honor it and to use it wisely to make miraculous things happen for myself. I didn’t initially step into this year thinking I had a New Year’s resolution but I guess you could sort of say that I do. I’ll say that I will simply better use my time and know where it went. <3

-D.Wright

Prepare yourselves…this is going to be a real one.

The C-Word

Let’s talk about control. Control is a false idol. It’s something we’re forever chasing and (funny enough) not able to completely relish in because it’s hard to maintain. It’s our means of exerting power to sway the outcomes of events, or matters, surrounding our lives. We fuss and toil over details that have no real significance other than to scratch the itch. We overanalyze our abilities and scrutinize our works and when that isn’t enough – we extend the courtesy to others.

You might be wondering how it is that I became such the subject matter expert. I’ll be honest, I don’t know the when or the how…I just know I am. I’m ready to release that control and exchange it for something a little bit better – authorship.

The Meltdown

Many of you know I’m a huge fan of therapy and this story started with a little trip to my friendly therapist, Dr. Kay. There was definitely a meltdown involved. I’m not ashamed to say it. I was not coping well emotionally and was not afraid to let her know. That poor lady…she has a lot on her hands. I came in with unresolved issues all from different areas of my life that I absolutely felt I had no control over. It was maddening. I was flailing down a rabbit hole. And after plenty of tears and irrational ranting, she gave it to me.

[su_quote cite=”You can’t control everything, no one can, but you can be the author of your life. You have to be the author of your own life.”][/su_quote]

The Resolve

I’m sitting there, glassy eyed and it hits me. I can’t control anyone else’s narrative but my own. I’ve always heard, “You can’t control what you can’t control” and it finally sunk in. I can’t control how others respond to me, or what other people think or feel about anything. What I can control is what I think of myself, what opportunities I create for myself, and what I contribute to the world. I had to ask myself, “What do I want to contribute to the world, and how can you plan to make that dream a reality?” I mean, Dr. Kay definitely posed a lot of wonderful questions for me to consider what exactly it was that I wanted to create for myself.

The Challenge

Now I’m challenging you, as much as I’m challenging myself, to think on what it is that you can create and contribute for yourself. What are the things you can reasonably control in your life? What can you let go of? I sadly used to think that my success rested on the chance of someone discovering me and my talents. That’s something I absolutely can not control or depend on, but what I can control is discovering myself and proudly creating a path that makes sense for me.

So will you join me in becoming the author of your own life? It’s high time we create and promote some beautifully unique stories to share with the world. <3

-D.Wright