Surprise! Your girl is back.

And happy belated to the Reverend Doctor Martin Luther King Jr.!

Ok ok, I know. Forgive me- tt’s been forever, but I have really good reasons this time. Prepare for this booklet you’re about to read. I’m telling my lil business and giving the real deal on my 2021.

The last time I checked in with you all, the 2020 holiday season was in full effect, work was busy and I was mentally and spiritually preparing for…surgery.

Now, I went back and forth on if this was something I wanted to share but I’m finding that there is power in vulnerability and maybe my journey will help others. I’ve been super sensitive about it and y’all might have realized I’m pretty private but :deep breath: whew girl…here we go. Let’s take it back to January 2021.

January: The only constant in life is change

For all of my life I’ve been extremely active and very “petite.” I noticed a bulge in my abdomen in about 2018/2019 and Aunt Flo, as we’ll affectionately refer to her, was kinda weird. That time of month just wasn’t normal for me anymore. It started with an odd Well Woman’s check up. When I visited my OBGYN, they told me my cervix was tilted. Yes, I freaked out without knowing what it event meant because who wants anything tilted in their body?! Not me girl, not me. And for the fall of 2019-2020 this pretty unpredictable journey began right after that moment. There were tests, X-Rays, blood work, the whole shabang. Eventually my doctor told me I had 3 large fibroids on my uterus that would need to be removed. Cue more freaking out here.

In my mind, that whole time, I knew something was wrong. By this time I’d completely gotten off of a birth control pill that I felt was literally making me insane but had been taking to control the wrath of Auntie Flo. So there I was, a raging looney ballooney, all in my head, hormonal, and with this bulge looking like a lil 6-year old after snacks.

I also had my first mammogram around this time because of the unfortunate history women in my family have with breast cancer. Everything was all good but it was A LOT. And then there was this other potential medical thing (still ongoing) but I was like WHAT IS GOING ON?! Side note…ladies, PLEASE take this post as a sign to get checked. And if you’re a woman of color please please please pay close attention to your bodies and see your physicians annually, we don’t have the benefit of making out alive from conditions others seem to. That’s my PSA for today but ANYWHO, it was a super emotional holiday in 2020. Well ok, it was peaceful because all I did was rest but my heart and spirit were in a tizzy. I had never experienced anything like that, especially without having my family or close friends near by.

So fast forward to January 15, 2021, a couple months after my last blog post…my family wasn’t able to come out to California because of exposure to COVID (they were/are fine don’t worry, we just couldn’t risk it). I called on an old friend to come to the rescue and they took me to the hospital around 7:30a, if I’m remembering it correctly. I sat in the hospital room alone (because COVID), for hours, scared…and just praying this wouldn’t be the deciding factor for if I could bear children and having the family I always secretly knew I wanted but was too fearful to admit to. I looked at the ceiling for a couple of hours, texted my family, pondered, and then they wheeled me out and put me in a room that reminded me of that one scene from ET when he was all ashy-white…yeah I know, random but this is my brain. And they pumped in the burning cocktail of fluids I never want again, and I was out…then I was frantically up, panicking trying to pull out IVs because I forgot where I was.

The next few hours were a blur, and not great.

I learned while in my fog, 3 fibroids went to 17 and 2-3 hours of a standard surgery turned into about 7+ hours and an overnight stay. Needless to say I WAS FREAKING OUT…while on drugs, not a good combination.

I’ll spare you my recovery details but it was mentally a lot. And now I have a rainbow of scars where my perfect little tummy used to live. I took it as a sign from God of “His promise.” Maybe one day I’ll have them corrected or get tatted but it’s a reminder of one of the toughest things I feel like I’ve ever had to deal with in regards to my own person and then a reminder of how strong I actually am, and how much I love life and living. To have my health challenged…man, it was a wake up call. It changed me. I promise this is gonna get happy btw LOL…

February: Just getting started

So February 1st I started back working and diving into the Black History Month programing for an ERG (Employee Resource Group) I help lead. You read that right, after two weeks I was a part of MASSIVE programming for a global audience. I hosted events (as a literal host) planned, and project managed. It was F-U-N and just what I needed to take my mind off things. Our co-chair team is the best and honestly, they along with my actual work team, felt heaven sent. Needless to say BHM went off without a hitch, we shined, and I kept it moving.

March/April: Doing too much

In March, work kept speeding up and I was approached about applying for a new role within my company. Well…one role turned into like 4.5 roles I was referred to (.5 because one was still being “created” for me). So between March and April I did over 30 interviews. And was ultimately offered 2.5 of the roles in mid-April…SO just a refresher- surgery, BHM, 30 interviews…Late April I made the tough and completely life altering decision to become the Internal Comms Lead for multiple and very cool lines of business. BEST DECISION EVER.

May: Settling down

The story doesn’t end there. In May my lease was ending at my old place in “Man Jose” aka San Jose. I had to leave. My mental health depended on it, I wasn’t ok there, even though I might have seemed like it and honestly there were a lot of unsafe things I dealt with there for the price I was paying. Cookie and I were a mess after being confined there for all of 2020. So I tried to save as much as I could, I got a deal at a my new place and took my shenanigans up the road to SF. It was stressful AF.

June/July/August: Summer summer summertime

In June, I already had a flight to Houston so I could see my family, because again, I wasn’t ok being confined for so long. So I had myself a good ole time for Juneteenth and then after that work just kind took off. I did get to celebrate my birthday with a couple of friends in my new building and attended a good friend’s wedding. And during all of the crazy that was life, I spent MONTHS working to pay down medical and SF moving debt that I FINALLY tackled in December. Ya girl is debt free and my health is starting to get back on track.

January 2022: Life right now

SO, there you have it, life has been a complete whirlwind. The first real break (where I’ve rested) since my surgery just happened over this last Christmas. November was a complete wash because I was doing the MOST with my “Thelma” (bestie Adrienne AKA Adra) and my little sister (De).

I’ve done so many cool and amazing things in 2021, and it’s wild I can’t talk about most of them because, “the fruit stand” but 2021 showed me so many things about myself and the person I want to be. It taught me about love, loyalty, and believing in the impossible.

I finally know now I can do anything I put my heart and mind to. God has been incredibly merciful towards me. I get so many chances…thus 9 Lives for the real ones. And I know I don’t deserve it but I’m so glad to be shown grace. And I’m now trying to put that grace and passion into action throughout all aspects of my life. I’ve decided to root for me harder than anyone else will so I can stay motivated and hot on the things I love, and to extend myself kindness and grace because I realized (ok my therapist told me) I’ve been through A LOT throughout my life and I will just keep on trucking for the sake of not dealing…it took me having surgery to see myself completely.

So here I am in 2022, with a new perspective and new hope through the turmoil and chaos out there in the world. I’m working to be my most positive and loving self. And instead of wallowing about the state of the times or worrying about things I absolutely can not control, I’m going to try to use the time I have, while being able-bodied and in my right mind, to help this world however I can…while having ALL THE FUN I CAN, because let’s be real, I loves me a good time.

I know this was a different type of post, but I just wanted to be honest. And please, let’s take care of all aspects of our mental health and wellness this year. I promise, when you look after yourself…everything becomes so much clearer.

Happy New Year, love y’all!

-D. Wright

So today we celebrate the American-foodie-national-holiday…Thanksgiving. Ok , it’s more than that but you get my drift. Usually, you could find me back home -in Houston– with my purple Rubbermaid Tupperware, joyously bouncing from house to house in my cozy-eating-pants because don’t play, we all have them. This year y’all will find me in my apartment making the best of the holiday season here in The Bay. Instead of wallowing about not being home to see the people I love, I’m making the best of this time and working to actually create my own little traditions. It’s about time, and I might as well practice for when I have my own family…gasp, own family. Whew, ok I’m back. So here are a few tips/what I’ll be up to during Turkey Day as a single woman-child in quarantine.

Soak in the morning vibes

Today I woke up with gratitude bursting from my lil heart. I mean outside of FedEx ruining my food order (go check out my Twitter thread if you’d like to see my mini meltdown) I was so happy! I sat, thought about where I came from and where I am…and just relished the moment. We are so blessed to be alive through such unprecedented and unpredictable times, and I reminded myself just how fortunate I am to be safe and well with people who love me. Then I cuddled with Cookie (my adorable furry sidekick) because that’s what we do…plus I have to catch him before he starts with his morning “kisses.” I called my parents and kicked off the rest of the morning with the Macy’s Day Thanksgiving Parade. It was perfect. Take a breath today and feel.

Plan yourself a feast

It’s ok if you’re not the best of cooks or if you miss your family’s home-cooking. Think about creating your own little smorgasbord of things you enjoy. I might have had to cut my cajun stuffed chicken, thanks to FedEx, but that doesn’t mean I can’t prepare the other things that make me feel closer to home. I’m thinking I might fry some chicken legs to accompany my homemade dirty rice, cabbage, sweet potatoes, mac & cheese, and cornbread. Oh yes, it’s going DOWN today y’all! If you’re not a cook, order-in or try your local market for pre-cooked dishes and desserts. And if you aren’t too deep in your cocoon of comfort, maybe do a drive-by to a friend’s house for a coveted “plate.” Don’t forget, you probably have more options than you thought.

Gather virtually with your family

Now YES….I did call my mom and dad earlier this morning, but that doesn’t mean I won’t be harassing everyone via FaceTime. I have siblings, friends, and more folks to bother about nothing and I plan on doing it TAHDAY. I figured, I was invited out but I’d rather just spruce myself up a bit and look cute over video chat. It’s safe and literally takes no real effort at all…plus it’s FUN! Do it, call out to people. You don’t have to wait for them to reach out to you.

Watch ALL the holiday movies

After I’ve stuffed myself to a pulp and drank way tew much, I’ll be watching every holiday themed cartoon, romcom, comedy, drama, special I can lay my eyes on. There will be some serious gluttony and couch time happening today friends. This is the perfect time to get in the spirit of love and joy, so what not?! And you know, no one is going to judge you now…Break out the Mariah Carey and tinsel, it’s time.

Well— hopefully this helps all of you single peeps dealing with your first, truly solo holiday. Us unmarried folks have to stick together outchea! I’d love to hear any other tips or best practices you have for celebrating your holiday to the fullest, while being solo-dolo, so drop me a line. And Happy Thanksgiving! <3

-D. Wright

It’s been one week and five days since election night, and a week and a day after President Elect Joe Biden and Vice President Elect Kamala Harris were called to win this historic 2020 presidential election. It felt like the fate of America rode off this moment. Shoot, it felt like the fate of the world relied on this election honestly.

Since that glorious Saturday morning, when the race was called for the two Democratic leaders, Donald Trump has been claiming a “rigged election”- of course because, ya know sore loser. But when the race was called on November 7th, many of us exhaled a collective sigh of relief. For a moment it felt like things were looking up and hopeful; however, my relief quickly soured into paranoia. I probably should’ve laid off the news, but shortly after Biden-Harris won, 45 continued to 45 and pretty much worked to ruin the moment with his antics. Since then, I feel like I’ve low-key been living with this underlying fear. Seeing the reaction of Far-Right supporters made me want to hide. I’ve even been seriously considering getting armed and moving into a neighborhood I feel more accepted and safer in…it’s 2020 people, and that’s sad. Then the results from exit polls (where you could see the hard divide in race amongst voters) coupled with the rage of 45-supporters, and their migration/slinking to dark corners of the web like effin Parler (where actual bigots now congregate in under the veil of “free speech”) made my mind spiral. It was a lot to take in after experiencing this brief sense of euphoria. I’d say in the aftermath of things, I’m hopeful and the overall weight and stress of this election has been lifted but I’m majorly disappointed in a pretty large subset of people, especially the people I’d assume would understand why the MAGA mentality and it’s bunkered-up leader have been completely toxic to American culture. I seriously won’t be able to look at the American flag the same way for a hot minute, or people I’ve known, or neighborhoods I used to frequent. It all seems tainted to me. I know things can change and perspectives can shift, but right now- I’m just like dang man, you don’t see us or our hearts and you really don’t understand why we see this guy and his Trumpology as a threat.

Of course more strangeness has happened since then…as a matter of fact, yesterday was the lil “Million Maga March,” insert eyeroll here for these people continuously bopping off of Black folks. Seeing them ranting, brawling, (again) diminishing the American flag with bigoted flags and just the hatefulness…was scary. Sigh, this is the country people of color are supposed to feel grateful for. If I ever thought a repeat of the Civil Rights era were to happen, I’d say it would be right now, it’s been insane. But at least world leaders have been acknowledging the historic win with congratulatory messages and well wishes. It kinda let me know this victory wasn’t made up in my mind, we weren’t being gaslit, and the spurious claims of cheating -through a massive conspiracy- were just too ridiculous to fall for.

So all isn’t lost, I have faith. I know there is so much work for us to do and I’m dedicated to the cause. And on top of that, Twitter memes and TikTok have been golden and keeping up my spirits. Gotta laugh to keep from crying right?

Anywho, this is a just another post where I’m in my feelings. I’m feeling good…feeling cautiously optimistic and ready to receive the goodness of the future of our country. We’re stepping into a new era of America. January 20th can’t come soon enough. How are y’all doing after this wild 2020 election? <3

-D. Wright

So it’s the first week of November, AND Election 2020. I’ve never, in all my life, had a week like this. *Fair warning, I have nothing profound to say. I’ve just seriously never had a week like this.

After witnessing folks all over the Instaworld break quarantine to dazzle one another in their fancy costumes and later brunch -as if tha ‘Rona was miraculously cured- in honor of the very-very (un)important holiday, Halloween…time fell back. So now, on top of possibly contagious people running around, we barely know where we are in the day.

What I do know is we’re on the FOURTH day of the most epic presidential election I’ve ever experienced in my voting history. It’s been worse than waiting for a Black Southern Baptist preacher to wrap up a sermon after his 5th ending. This thing seems to never end. Needless to say, the country is waiting on pins and needles with the news of who will be the future leader of this great ole ‘Murica.

I was planning on having a post up yesterday but to be honest the times are so got-dog-on wild, I couldn’t even focus. As a matter of fact, I took off this week because I knew I wouldn’t be able to focus. I had an inkling I was going to need a mental break to rest, and regroup -regardless of what the results were- plus my body gave me the signs of needing a break, so I listened. Now here I am- spending my 3rd day hanging with a dog who does zoomies like military drills, watching marathons of cheesy Christmas movies on Hallmark/Lifetime (because I’m a real adult in need of a healthy dose of reality), buying holiday decorations, and building my new bar cart all the while simultaneously watching the current president meltdown on global news and Twitter. It’s such a fascinating time to be a grown-up.

Americans are witnessing another historic and dramatic election, in real time, and through the lens of social media and news companies. I can’t even believe we’re awaiting 4 “battleground” states to seal our fate, and that Black & Latinx people are basically leading the charge. I feel like that deserves its own post right there. But anyway, fortunately for me, I’ve learned how to keep myself distracted and mentally balanced. I’m definitely nervous and worried about the repercussions of this election. It feels like many people are cautiously optimistic about the results but fearfully anticipating the actions of 45’s gun-toting, flag-waving pirate minions. We’ll see how it all plays out though.

In more important news- I’m just plotting for the future. I feel so inspired to have some type of creative outlet or business…or both. I want to feel that entrepreneurial freedom, ya know? And Black women are really inspiring me to just do it. Through seeing the results of this election come in and how different Black women are making names for themselves/leading in ways we could never imagine- they have me so ready to take my life to the next level. I’m just inspired to do things I didn’t think were possible. Wait…I guess I lied, I did have something profound to say. And that is- I’m finding a silver lining in the midst of the madness, and oh there is so much madness.

But how is your first week of November going? Are you getting ready for the holidays or just pushing through elections? <3

-D. Wright

I used to think everything started and ended with H-Town-Houston Texas. And Yes, I know the world is larger than Texas, but we Texans seem to believe we’re the greatest thing to happen to these here United States of UhMurica. I just couldn’t fathom life, being as amazing as it was in Texas, anywhere else in the world. Texas pride is a real thing folks and we have no shame about it. So imagine my surprise when I left and realized this great world held more for me than my beloved home state and hometown. As a native Houstonian, I thought living in the country’s fourth largest city would provide every opportunity equal to the amount of love and contentment I felt there everyday. Spoiler alert…It didn’t. So much was in store for me outside of my comfort zone and I want to share a bit of what I’ve learned leaving Space City for Silicon Valley. Here are my top three lessons:

Talk Less, Act Boldly

One thing about Houston was I felt like we all had so many dreams but never really did them to our fullest capabilities. It could very well be because of age, money, and insecurity back then but it was safe to say that everyone wasn’t “doing” or completely following through as they might have let on. No shade at all because I fell into the toxic cycle myself, but after moving here, I’ve completely snapped out of it. I learned no matter the outcome, it’s best to just try. Everything doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be right…for you. Once I trusted my gut and my knowledge, things took off for me. I didn’t have to just talk about my dreams, I started living them. I guess you could say another mini-lesson I learned was, you sometimes have to leave what you know so that you can really spread your wings and do what your heart is called to do…boldly and unapologetically.

Surround Yourself With Greatness

Houston was full of amazing personalities and celebrities and wealth…but I never truly felt that kind of “success” was attainable. Houston was an oil and gas town. I needed a creative town. Moving to a place like Silicon Valley instantly plops you into circles and conversations you’d never even imagine to be in. It’s kinda like LA in the sense of going to a place where a primary industry is so massive that everyone is literally a few degrees apart. Back home, I was a bazillion degrees apart from truly doing the creative work I desired. Moving into a region focused on a creative industry helped me to not only feel like the sky was the limit for my path, but inspired to do whatever I could dream. I wish I could tell y’all even half the cool stuff I’ve been able to do. Just know I’m smack dab in the middle of fortune 500-excellence AND a top notch art scene. The industry I currently work in literally changes billions of lives and I wouldn’t have had this same experience if I were too afraid and stayed home. Don’t be afraid to move towards excellence.

Say “Buh-bye Safety Net”

Home had every creature-comfort a girl could ever want or need. Even if you were “broke” :raising my hand on this one: it didn’t take much money to have a good time or enjoy your family and friends. Southern culture is so rooted in family and extended family. This was a blessing and a crutch for me. Leaving taught me to fly on my trapeze with no net in sight. Am I scared sometimes? Yes. But is it also exhilarating…double-yes. I bump my head and stumble but it feels amazing. The freedom you gain from just doing whatever you want is unmatched. I will say working for a global corporation can be restricting in some ways, but I’m so proud of what I do and I know it will set me up for my creative pursuits as I keep living.

So friends…you could say this post is dedicated to those of you on the fence, and wondering if it makes sense to take a leap of faith. I say, you never know what is on the other side for you. Don’t feel limited by your surroundings, understand there’s a whole life for you in a city, state, or country that could take you to the next level. There’s so much to gain from leaving your past and stepping out on faith. The world is your oyster, it just has to be discovered. <3

-D. Wright