Surprise! Your girl is back.

And happy belated to the Reverend Doctor Martin Luther King Jr.!

Ok ok, I know. Forgive me- tt’s been forever, but I have really good reasons this time. Prepare for this booklet you’re about to read. I’m telling my lil business and giving the real deal on my 2021.

The last time I checked in with you all, the 2020 holiday season was in full effect, work was busy and I was mentally and spiritually preparing for…surgery.

Now, I went back and forth on if this was something I wanted to share but I’m finding that there is power in vulnerability and maybe my journey will help others. I’ve been super sensitive about it and y’all might have realized I’m pretty private but :deep breath: whew girl…here we go. Let’s take it back to January 2021.

January: The only constant in life is change

For all of my life I’ve been extremely active and very “petite.” I noticed a bulge in my abdomen in about 2018/2019 and Aunt Flo, as we’ll affectionately refer to her, was kinda weird. That time of month just wasn’t normal for me anymore. It started with an odd Well Woman’s check up. When I visited my OBGYN, they told me my cervix was tilted. Yes, I freaked out without knowing what it event meant because who wants anything tilted in their body?! Not me girl, not me. And for the fall of 2019-2020 this pretty unpredictable journey began right after that moment. There were tests, X-Rays, blood work, the whole shabang. Eventually my doctor told me I had 3 large fibroids on my uterus that would need to be removed. Cue more freaking out here.

In my mind, that whole time, I knew something was wrong. By this time I’d completely gotten off of a birth control pill that I felt was literally making me insane but had been taking to control the wrath of Auntie Flo. So there I was, a raging looney ballooney, all in my head, hormonal, and with this bulge looking like a lil 6-year old after snacks.

I also had my first mammogram around this time because of the unfortunate history women in my family have with breast cancer. Everything was all good but it was A LOT. And then there was this other potential medical thing (still ongoing) but I was like WHAT IS GOING ON?! Side note…ladies, PLEASE take this post as a sign to get checked. And if you’re a woman of color please please please pay close attention to your bodies and see your physicians annually, we don’t have the benefit of making out alive from conditions others seem to. That’s my PSA for today but ANYWHO, it was a super emotional holiday in 2020. Well ok, it was peaceful because all I did was rest but my heart and spirit were in a tizzy. I had never experienced anything like that, especially without having my family or close friends near by.

So fast forward to January 15, 2021, a couple months after my last blog post…my family wasn’t able to come out to California because of exposure to COVID (they were/are fine don’t worry, we just couldn’t risk it). I called on an old friend to come to the rescue and they took me to the hospital around 7:30a, if I’m remembering it correctly. I sat in the hospital room alone (because COVID), for hours, scared…and just praying this wouldn’t be the deciding factor for if I could bear children and having the family I always secretly knew I wanted but was too fearful to admit to. I looked at the ceiling for a couple of hours, texted my family, pondered, and then they wheeled me out and put me in a room that reminded me of that one scene from ET when he was all ashy-white…yeah I know, random but this is my brain. And they pumped in the burning cocktail of fluids I never want again, and I was out…then I was frantically up, panicking trying to pull out IVs because I forgot where I was.

The next few hours were a blur, and not great.

I learned while in my fog, 3 fibroids went to 17 and 2-3 hours of a standard surgery turned into about 7+ hours and an overnight stay. Needless to say I WAS FREAKING OUT…while on drugs, not a good combination.

I’ll spare you my recovery details but it was mentally a lot. And now I have a rainbow of scars where my perfect little tummy used to live. I took it as a sign from God of “His promise.” Maybe one day I’ll have them corrected or get tatted but it’s a reminder of one of the toughest things I feel like I’ve ever had to deal with in regards to my own person and then a reminder of how strong I actually am, and how much I love life and living. To have my health challenged…man, it was a wake up call. It changed me. I promise this is gonna get happy btw LOL…

February: Just getting started

So February 1st I started back working and diving into the Black History Month programing for an ERG (Employee Resource Group) I help lead. You read that right, after two weeks I was a part of MASSIVE programming for a global audience. I hosted events (as a literal host) planned, and project managed. It was F-U-N and just what I needed to take my mind off things. Our co-chair team is the best and honestly, they along with my actual work team, felt heaven sent. Needless to say BHM went off without a hitch, we shined, and I kept it moving.

March/April: Doing too much

In March, work kept speeding up and I was approached about applying for a new role within my company. Well…one role turned into like 4.5 roles I was referred to (.5 because one was still being “created” for me). So between March and April I did over 30 interviews. And was ultimately offered 2.5 of the roles in mid-April…SO just a refresher- surgery, BHM, 30 interviews…Late April I made the tough and completely life altering decision to become the Internal Comms Lead for multiple and very cool lines of business. BEST DECISION EVER.

May: Settling down

The story doesn’t end there. In May my lease was ending at my old place in “Man Jose” aka San Jose. I had to leave. My mental health depended on it, I wasn’t ok there, even though I might have seemed like it and honestly there were a lot of unsafe things I dealt with there for the price I was paying. Cookie and I were a mess after being confined there for all of 2020. So I tried to save as much as I could, I got a deal at a my new place and took my shenanigans up the road to SF. It was stressful AF.

June/July/August: Summer summer summertime

In June, I already had a flight to Houston so I could see my family, because again, I wasn’t ok being confined for so long. So I had myself a good ole time for Juneteenth and then after that work just kind took off. I did get to celebrate my birthday with a couple of friends in my new building and attended a good friend’s wedding. And during all of the crazy that was life, I spent MONTHS working to pay down medical and SF moving debt that I FINALLY tackled in December. Ya girl is debt free and my health is starting to get back on track.

January 2022: Life right now

SO, there you have it, life has been a complete whirlwind. The first real break (where I’ve rested) since my surgery just happened over this last Christmas. November was a complete wash because I was doing the MOST with my “Thelma” (bestie Adrienne AKA Adra) and my little sister (De).

I’ve done so many cool and amazing things in 2021, and it’s wild I can’t talk about most of them because, “the fruit stand” but 2021 showed me so many things about myself and the person I want to be. It taught me about love, loyalty, and believing in the impossible.

I finally know now I can do anything I put my heart and mind to. God has been incredibly merciful towards me. I get so many chances…thus 9 Lives for the real ones. And I know I don’t deserve it but I’m so glad to be shown grace. And I’m now trying to put that grace and passion into action throughout all aspects of my life. I’ve decided to root for me harder than anyone else will so I can stay motivated and hot on the things I love, and to extend myself kindness and grace because I realized (ok my therapist told me) I’ve been through A LOT throughout my life and I will just keep on trucking for the sake of not dealing…it took me having surgery to see myself completely.

So here I am in 2022, with a new perspective and new hope through the turmoil and chaos out there in the world. I’m working to be my most positive and loving self. And instead of wallowing about the state of the times or worrying about things I absolutely can not control, I’m going to try to use the time I have, while being able-bodied and in my right mind, to help this world however I can…while having ALL THE FUN I CAN, because let’s be real, I loves me a good time.

I know this was a different type of post, but I just wanted to be honest. And please, let’s take care of all aspects of our mental health and wellness this year. I promise, when you look after yourself…everything becomes so much clearer.

Happy New Year, love y’all!

-D. Wright

We’ve officially made it to month 8 of a global pandemic that no one saw coming, in a year that was supposed to be an epic kickoff to a fabulous decade. The irony is, it has been pretty epic…but for all the wrong reasons.

Instead of writing a depressing post dedicated to the sorrows of living in a time where we can’t hug our loved ones or endure breathing in the remnants of our daily meals through a mask— I’m going to write about what’s keeping me sane as a single person in isolation.

And a quick note: Because of the nature of what I do in tech, I can’t make any app recommendations to you all. But what I can do is encourage you to comb your respective app stores to find the best apps that work for what you need.

Spiritual

I know attending a place of worship has been a huge issue for many people of faith. I won’t say -as a Christian- I’m not struggling with it myself but I figured in this age of tech, God would be chill with me being safe, healthy, and getting my spiritual on in the confines of my home.

So I pray regularly and meditate. I use apps to keep me connected and occasionally, when my attention span is A-1, I even manage to attend good ole Bedside Baptist. The thing I’ve always understood is while I love the fellowship and sense of community, I have to get flexible with how it is I nurture that part of myself during these times.

Physical

Alright, so here is where I SUPER struggle. I love sleeping and just hanging. When I’m home, my body goes to either work or chill mode…But here we are. I had to do like everyone else and turn my living room into my gym. Since breathing in smoke from massive wild fires isn’t really an option for me- I turn on my Apple Tv, lay out my yoga mat, and work out between 30 minutes to an hour. I also try to drink at least three 26oz bottles of water starting when I wake up. I’ve also been taking vitamins from HUM (use my code: 1E6108 because it’s the right thing to do) and they’ve been pretty amazing. I take several daily and it helps with my energy and immune system.

Mental

And of course I can’t leave out mental health. I go to therapy regularly for hour sessions at least once a month. I try to stay off social media unless I’m sharing thoughts or my random commentary on whatever is happening out there, but other than that, surfing is DANGEROUS. Keep that part short, emote as much as you want and then take a break. I also limit my news intake as well. I watch for morning highlights and that’s a wrap unless there’s absolutely nothing else better to do with my life. Ok, and here’s something funny about me…I’m kinda an introvert. I know that’s weird but I’ve always been a little shy and awkward. And I don’t like talking to a lot of people when I retreat into my personal space…HOWEVER, I’ve gotten so much better about reaching out and FaceTiming my family and friends. I’ve made it a personal goal to at least talk to at least 3 people outside of work, a week (so that I’m not talking to my dog- that could get weird.). Then I try to call it a night by 10:30p so I can wake up and take on the world at…7a. Not really early but early enough for me, I’m not a 4am kinda chick. Speaking of getting to sleep. I work a lot, so maintaining work-life balance is highly important to me. If someone works my nerves at work. I leave it right there at 6pm or whenever I shut it down. I’m not stressing myself out over foolishness and I don’t want extra gray hair. Ok, ok- the last and most obvious thing I like to do to take care of my mental is :drumroll please: writing! I try to write as much as I can to release my thoughts.

Other ways to treat yo-self

Now of course there’s so much more to do to unwind like retail therapy, a nice dinner with a glass (or three) of wine, movie marathons, reading a book while listening to your fave album, cooking a nice meal, or taking a cuddle break with you lovable pup pal. However you decide to take care of yourself, the idea is it shouldn’t add more stress to your life. It should make you feel more relaxed and less overwhelmed.

So you’ve heard some of my self-care hacks for keeping sane during these crazy times. My self-care routines and tips are specific to my needs because true self-care varies for us all. I would love to hear yours! Tell me what your self-care go-to’s are during quarantine. <3

-D. Wright

Prepare yourselves…this is going to be a real one.

The C-Word

Let’s talk about control. Control is a false idol. It’s something we’re forever chasing and (funny enough) not able to completely relish in because it’s hard to maintain. It’s our means of exerting power to sway the outcomes of events, or matters, surrounding our lives. We fuss and toil over details that have no real significance other than to scratch the itch. We overanalyze our abilities and scrutinize our works and when that isn’t enough – we extend the courtesy to others.

You might be wondering how it is that I became such the subject matter expert. I’ll be honest, I don’t know the when or the how…I just know I am. I’m ready to release that control and exchange it for something a little bit better – authorship.

The Meltdown

Many of you know I’m a huge fan of therapy and this story started with a little trip to my friendly therapist, Dr. Kay. There was definitely a meltdown involved. I’m not ashamed to say it. I was not coping well emotionally and was not afraid to let her know. That poor lady…she has a lot on her hands. I came in with unresolved issues all from different areas of my life that I absolutely felt I had no control over. It was maddening. I was flailing down a rabbit hole. And after plenty of tears and irrational ranting, she gave it to me.

[su_quote cite=”You can’t control everything, no one can, but you can be the author of your life. You have to be the author of your own life.”][/su_quote]

The Resolve

I’m sitting there, glassy eyed and it hits me. I can’t control anyone else’s narrative but my own. I’ve always heard, “You can’t control what you can’t control” and it finally sunk in. I can’t control how others respond to me, or what other people think or feel about anything. What I can control is what I think of myself, what opportunities I create for myself, and what I contribute to the world. I had to ask myself, “What do I want to contribute to the world, and how can you plan to make that dream a reality?” I mean, Dr. Kay definitely posed a lot of wonderful questions for me to consider what exactly it was that I wanted to create for myself.

The Challenge

Now I’m challenging you, as much as I’m challenging myself, to think on what it is that you can create and contribute for yourself. What are the things you can reasonably control in your life? What can you let go of? I sadly used to think that my success rested on the chance of someone discovering me and my talents. That’s something I absolutely can not control or depend on, but what I can control is discovering myself and proudly creating a path that makes sense for me.

So will you join me in becoming the author of your own life? It’s high time we create and promote some beautifully unique stories to share with the world. <3

-D.Wright

I’m gonna start with, I love this site and app. FitMenCook is super easy to navigate and extremely functional. I never expected to actually like it but a buddy of mine recommended it because I’m terrible at making healthy food choices and asked him about his lunch.

I know, you’re probably thinking, “you’re so skinny, you probably don’t eat much… blah blah blah.” Well here’s a confession, last year my New Year’s resolution was to give up canned chili. You read right, canned chili. I love canned chili. I mostly love it with chips, cheese and jalapeños. I definitely love it over rice. Wolf Brand and Hormel are my favorites and I know it’s not great for me but I don’t care. I’d say my love for canned chili is worse than my Chef Boyardee ravioli obsession and those perfectly greased Jack In The Box tacos that I’d practically vacuum up during my teen years. I fiend for my special chili dip like every couple months or so these days, but  it used to be pretty bad. I thank God for a high metabolism and newly found common sense. I only eat it every couple of months and this is precisely why I needed the app. I have to get more creative with my seasonings and dinner choices if I don’t want to die of high blood pressure and clogged arteries.

I Hate Working Out

Let’s get to the nitty gritty though. I hate working out. I hate it because it feels like a routine I can never finish and since I don’t see many changes, I don’t feel motivated. Now food, I love, and I think it’s a brilliant plan to change my body with something I love. Food is something that I can commit to and FitMenCook is a wonderful website with a bomb app you can download to get recipes ranging from quick and easy to complex and showy. You  can even use a the Healthy Habits Challenge calendar to hit personal goals. It’s pretty impressive how thought out this site it. I highly recommend taking a visit and finding a dish to start with.

15-Minute Pineapple Pepper Chicken

With how cool the site and the app was, I had to try it out for myself and decided to test the 15-Minute Pineapple Pepper Chicken recipe for my first attempt. Kevin, supplies you with a grocery list that even helps guide you down the aisles of where you can find the ingredients. I will say, it was a bit of a scavenger hunt but I located everything I needed. When I got home, I followed the directions and added spinach for my veggie. Then, voilà, a tasty meal I could enjoy for about 3-4 days! It was well seasoned, easy to portion out and extremely satisfying. You should definitely try it out for yourself.

If you decide to test out any other recipes, feel free to share them with me here or on Twitter, Instagram or Facebook! <3

-D.Wright

You guys might have remembered I referenced my good friend Ameerah in my article Every Little Step a few weeks back. She’s a true gem and one of the most phenomenal people I know. Not only is she a beautiful wife and mother, but she’s a fabulous business woman who is taking the world by storm. This past weekend, Ameerah invited women across Houston Metro area to join her in a private brunch at Sak Fifth’s 51Fifteen in celebration of sisterhood and her lifestyle event series…Brunch and Slay.

There was champagne and appetizers flowing from the very start of the experience. We were practically waited on hand and foot. Droves of beautiful women dressed to the nines were literally EVERYWHERE you hear me?! If someone wanted a wife, Ameerah held the key to the treasure box. I kid you not – the style was on point, the hair was on point, the ambition was on point and the positivity was overflowing. The assortment of women in attendance varied in all shades of hues and backgrounds. It was the one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen.

But back to the actual event…it started with a networking cocktail hour, then we were moved into the dining area for our first course and a fashion demonstration by stylist, Ashley Kahn. We mingled a bit more, ate our second course and then moved to the bar area for desert and more mimosas. After a bit of more chatting we were ushered into the event space to hear the panels.

The women we heard were an all-star group to say the least. We had renowned  fashion illustrator Rong-Rong Devoe, fitness guru Leah Egwuatu, Emmy Award winner  Erica Halloway, fashion maven Brandy Gueary, Doctor Ashandra Batiste who stars on Bravo series Married to Medicine Houston and moderating was best selling writer Charlie Marcol. These were just the people on the panel! The room was full of influencers, medical professionals, designers, educators, creatives, techs, and other amazing represented industries.

Ameerah created a lavish experience for her guests. I can only imagine what she’s going to come up with next. If you’re into unique lifestyle events, make sure to visit her website for more information HERE. I clearly had a blast. <3

-D.Wright