Surprise! Your girl is back.

And happy belated to the Reverend Doctor Martin Luther King Jr.!

Ok ok, I know. Forgive me- tt’s been forever, but I have really good reasons this time. Prepare for this booklet you’re about to read. I’m telling my lil business and giving the real deal on my 2021.

The last time I checked in with you all, the 2020 holiday season was in full effect, work was busy and I was mentally and spiritually preparing for…surgery.

Now, I went back and forth on if this was something I wanted to share but I’m finding that there is power in vulnerability and maybe my journey will help others. I’ve been super sensitive about it and y’all might have realized I’m pretty private but :deep breath: whew girl…here we go. Let’s take it back to January 2021.

January: The only constant in life is change

For all of my life I’ve been extremely active and very “petite.” I noticed a bulge in my abdomen in about 2018/2019 and Aunt Flo, as we’ll affectionately refer to her, was kinda weird. That time of month just wasn’t normal for me anymore. It started with an odd Well Woman’s check up. When I visited my OBGYN, they told me my cervix was tilted. Yes, I freaked out without knowing what it event meant because who wants anything tilted in their body?! Not me girl, not me. And for the fall of 2019-2020 this pretty unpredictable journey began right after that moment. There were tests, X-Rays, blood work, the whole shabang. Eventually my doctor told me I had 3 large fibroids on my uterus that would need to be removed. Cue more freaking out here.

In my mind, that whole time, I knew something was wrong. By this time I’d completely gotten off of a birth control pill that I felt was literally making me insane but had been taking to control the wrath of Auntie Flo. So there I was, a raging looney ballooney, all in my head, hormonal, and with this bulge looking like a lil 6-year old after snacks.

I also had my first mammogram around this time because of the unfortunate history women in my family have with breast cancer. Everything was all good but it was A LOT. And then there was this other potential medical thing (still ongoing) but I was like WHAT IS GOING ON?! Side note…ladies, PLEASE take this post as a sign to get checked. And if you’re a woman of color please please please pay close attention to your bodies and see your physicians annually, we don’t have the benefit of making out alive from conditions others seem to. That’s my PSA for today but ANYWHO, it was a super emotional holiday in 2020. Well ok, it was peaceful because all I did was rest but my heart and spirit were in a tizzy. I had never experienced anything like that, especially without having my family or close friends near by.

So fast forward to January 15, 2021, a couple months after my last blog post…my family wasn’t able to come out to California because of exposure to COVID (they were/are fine don’t worry, we just couldn’t risk it). I called on an old friend to come to the rescue and they took me to the hospital around 7:30a, if I’m remembering it correctly. I sat in the hospital room alone (because COVID), for hours, scared…and just praying this wouldn’t be the deciding factor for if I could bear children and having the family I always secretly knew I wanted but was too fearful to admit to. I looked at the ceiling for a couple of hours, texted my family, pondered, and then they wheeled me out and put me in a room that reminded me of that one scene from ET when he was all ashy-white…yeah I know, random but this is my brain. And they pumped in the burning cocktail of fluids I never want again, and I was out…then I was frantically up, panicking trying to pull out IVs because I forgot where I was.

The next few hours were a blur, and not great.

I learned while in my fog, 3 fibroids went to 17 and 2-3 hours of a standard surgery turned into about 7+ hours and an overnight stay. Needless to say I WAS FREAKING OUT…while on drugs, not a good combination.

I’ll spare you my recovery details but it was mentally a lot. And now I have a rainbow of scars where my perfect little tummy used to live. I took it as a sign from God of “His promise.” Maybe one day I’ll have them corrected or get tatted but it’s a reminder of one of the toughest things I feel like I’ve ever had to deal with in regards to my own person and then a reminder of how strong I actually am, and how much I love life and living. To have my health challenged…man, it was a wake up call. It changed me. I promise this is gonna get happy btw LOL…

February: Just getting started

So February 1st I started back working and diving into the Black History Month programing for an ERG (Employee Resource Group) I help lead. You read that right, after two weeks I was a part of MASSIVE programming for a global audience. I hosted events (as a literal host) planned, and project managed. It was F-U-N and just what I needed to take my mind off things. Our co-chair team is the best and honestly, they along with my actual work team, felt heaven sent. Needless to say BHM went off without a hitch, we shined, and I kept it moving.

March/April: Doing too much

In March, work kept speeding up and I was approached about applying for a new role within my company. Well…one role turned into like 4.5 roles I was referred to (.5 because one was still being “created” for me). So between March and April I did over 30 interviews. And was ultimately offered 2.5 of the roles in mid-April…SO just a refresher- surgery, BHM, 30 interviews…Late April I made the tough and completely life altering decision to become the Internal Comms Lead for multiple and very cool lines of business. BEST DECISION EVER.

May: Settling down

The story doesn’t end there. In May my lease was ending at my old place in “Man Jose” aka San Jose. I had to leave. My mental health depended on it, I wasn’t ok there, even though I might have seemed like it and honestly there were a lot of unsafe things I dealt with there for the price I was paying. Cookie and I were a mess after being confined there for all of 2020. So I tried to save as much as I could, I got a deal at a my new place and took my shenanigans up the road to SF. It was stressful AF.

June/July/August: Summer summer summertime

In June, I already had a flight to Houston so I could see my family, because again, I wasn’t ok being confined for so long. So I had myself a good ole time for Juneteenth and then after that work just kind took off. I did get to celebrate my birthday with a couple of friends in my new building and attended a good friend’s wedding. And during all of the crazy that was life, I spent MONTHS working to pay down medical and SF moving debt that I FINALLY tackled in December. Ya girl is debt free and my health is starting to get back on track.

January 2022: Life right now

SO, there you have it, life has been a complete whirlwind. The first real break (where I’ve rested) since my surgery just happened over this last Christmas. November was a complete wash because I was doing the MOST with my “Thelma” (bestie Adrienne AKA Adra) and my little sister (De).

I’ve done so many cool and amazing things in 2021, and it’s wild I can’t talk about most of them because, “the fruit stand” but 2021 showed me so many things about myself and the person I want to be. It taught me about love, loyalty, and believing in the impossible.

I finally know now I can do anything I put my heart and mind to. God has been incredibly merciful towards me. I get so many chances…thus 9 Lives for the real ones. And I know I don’t deserve it but I’m so glad to be shown grace. And I’m now trying to put that grace and passion into action throughout all aspects of my life. I’ve decided to root for me harder than anyone else will so I can stay motivated and hot on the things I love, and to extend myself kindness and grace because I realized (ok my therapist told me) I’ve been through A LOT throughout my life and I will just keep on trucking for the sake of not dealing…it took me having surgery to see myself completely.

So here I am in 2022, with a new perspective and new hope through the turmoil and chaos out there in the world. I’m working to be my most positive and loving self. And instead of wallowing about the state of the times or worrying about things I absolutely can not control, I’m going to try to use the time I have, while being able-bodied and in my right mind, to help this world however I can…while having ALL THE FUN I CAN, because let’s be real, I loves me a good time.

I know this was a different type of post, but I just wanted to be honest. And please, let’s take care of all aspects of our mental health and wellness this year. I promise, when you look after yourself…everything becomes so much clearer.

Happy New Year, love y’all!

-D. Wright

I used to think everything started and ended with H-Town-Houston Texas. And Yes, I know the world is larger than Texas, but we Texans seem to believe we’re the greatest thing to happen to these here United States of UhMurica. I just couldn’t fathom life, being as amazing as it was in Texas, anywhere else in the world. Texas pride is a real thing folks and we have no shame about it. So imagine my surprise when I left and realized this great world held more for me than my beloved home state and hometown. As a native Houstonian, I thought living in the country’s fourth largest city would provide every opportunity equal to the amount of love and contentment I felt there everyday. Spoiler alert…It didn’t. So much was in store for me outside of my comfort zone and I want to share a bit of what I’ve learned leaving Space City for Silicon Valley. Here are my top three lessons:

Talk Less, Act Boldly

One thing about Houston was I felt like we all had so many dreams but never really did them to our fullest capabilities. It could very well be because of age, money, and insecurity back then but it was safe to say that everyone wasn’t “doing” or completely following through as they might have let on. No shade at all because I fell into the toxic cycle myself, but after moving here, I’ve completely snapped out of it. I learned no matter the outcome, it’s best to just try. Everything doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be right…for you. Once I trusted my gut and my knowledge, things took off for me. I didn’t have to just talk about my dreams, I started living them. I guess you could say another mini-lesson I learned was, you sometimes have to leave what you know so that you can really spread your wings and do what your heart is called to do…boldly and unapologetically.

Surround Yourself With Greatness

Houston was full of amazing personalities and celebrities and wealth…but I never truly felt that kind of “success” was attainable. Houston was an oil and gas town. I needed a creative town. Moving to a place like Silicon Valley instantly plops you into circles and conversations you’d never even imagine to be in. It’s kinda like LA in the sense of going to a place where a primary industry is so massive that everyone is literally a few degrees apart. Back home, I was a bazillion degrees apart from truly doing the creative work I desired. Moving into a region focused on a creative industry helped me to not only feel like the sky was the limit for my path, but inspired to do whatever I could dream. I wish I could tell y’all even half the cool stuff I’ve been able to do. Just know I’m smack dab in the middle of fortune 500-excellence AND a top notch art scene. The industry I currently work in literally changes billions of lives and I wouldn’t have had this same experience if I were too afraid and stayed home. Don’t be afraid to move towards excellence.

Say “Buh-bye Safety Net”

Home had every creature-comfort a girl could ever want or need. Even if you were “broke” :raising my hand on this one: it didn’t take much money to have a good time or enjoy your family and friends. Southern culture is so rooted in family and extended family. This was a blessing and a crutch for me. Leaving taught me to fly on my trapeze with no net in sight. Am I scared sometimes? Yes. But is it also exhilarating…double-yes. I bump my head and stumble but it feels amazing. The freedom you gain from just doing whatever you want is unmatched. I will say working for a global corporation can be restricting in some ways, but I’m so proud of what I do and I know it will set me up for my creative pursuits as I keep living.

So friends…you could say this post is dedicated to those of you on the fence, and wondering if it makes sense to take a leap of faith. I say, you never know what is on the other side for you. Don’t feel limited by your surroundings, understand there’s a whole life for you in a city, state, or country that could take you to the next level. There’s so much to gain from leaving your past and stepping out on faith. The world is your oyster, it just has to be discovered. <3

-D. Wright

Go ahead and get your wine, there are no pictures...just gems. Ok, now that we’ve gotten that out the way, let’s go!

If you’re in the corporate world it’s likely performance review time or you’ve just received feedback from your manager. To those of you not familiar with performance reviews, it’s make or break time for your job title and…mooonnniiieeesss. Sometimes you get raises, sometimes you get promotions, sometimes you get the whole shabang. It’s a time where you literally can position yourself to get ahead. I just had mine -the first successful one in my entire professional life- and it taught me a huge lesson about my true potential and self-worth.

Here’s the long story, short. I moved into the corporate side of my company two years ago and left it all to head from Houston to Silicon Valley. I advocated for myself when I first heard I got the gig, but do keep in mind there were other cool opportunities on the table and a mentor in my ear. Me trying to negotiate when I was already in the system of this major company, and moving up, was definitely a challenge though. I anticipated push back, because that’s what companies do- they push back for a variety of financial reasons…but I had to ask. Shoot, it’s what the men in my life do- they apply, make their demands, and see what sticks. So I tried it, I asked. I was nervous but I felt motivated by the sky-rocketing rent prices I saw online and by the ridiculous cost of living I had become familiar with during my previous stay in SoCal (California-speak for Southern California). I felt like I came with an extremely unique set of skills/experience and a lot to offer. I couldn’t let rent be an issue for me in a new state because I knew would have hopped on the first flight home if it were.

Fortunately I had a wonderful manager, a woman of color, who took my request seriously and advocated for me when I first got on. It was then that I received my first corporate pay bump. Years prior, as a musician I never really felt empowered to ask for what I wanted or felt I deserved for performing and writing. At that time in my life we were all young and bartering, and just trying to figure it out. So I came with a bit of empowerment-baggage there. This was what I carried into Corporate America, so this small win was monumental for me.

Fast forward into 2020…I had three different managers in the time span of November 2019-January 2020 (my first manager left and long story don’t ask LOL #stillbitter #pleasecomeback). But I knew I was in desperate need of my promotion and raise for all the amazing projects I’d been a part of and work that I had done. And here’s fun little nugget, my 3rd manager came with an org shift. I literally moved teams and now had to try and convince a new manager and organization that I deserved a promotion and a raise. They didn’t know me, but I didn’t care. They were going to get to know me and in the wise words of philosopher Robyn Rihanna Fenty “Bih betta have my money!” It was time, and I needed to put on my big-girl-pannies to receive the equitable compensation I absolutely knew I deserved. I promise you I’m not being Millennial about this, I was literally doing multiple roles. So, what did I do to get my coins…welp, here it goes:

I made a “deck”

At my company, if it isn’t in Keynote, it probably didn’t happen. That meant I needed to translate my wins into something digestible for my leaders. I used my running list of achievements and formatted a presentation that grew into a visual review of my year. It included KPIs, aka Key Performance Indicators, I knew were important to my role(s). I even included photos and presenter notes in case I wasn’t able to present my deck to the necessary folks live. Then I took my deck on tour lol…I literally presented it to anyone willing to listen, which leads me to my next point.

I campaigned for myself

I talked to my immediate team openly about the work I did- they backed me when it was time. I talked to my broader team about the work that I did- they backed me when it was time. I spoke with leaders that I worked with and other peers about my work and projects- they also backed me when it was time. I had finally let people know who I was and what I was about. By the time I was in my 4th month on my new team/in my new org, people had a pretty solid idea of who I was and what I was working on. There was no question or debate as to the impact my work had.

I managed up

I had bi-weekly meetings with my new manager and ALWAYS came with an agenda. If I learned one thing from my first manager, it was that I had to be clear and communicative about what I needed to be successful and what I was doing to drive results. I was transparent and intentional, and it was one of the best things I could have done. Every conversation I had with my leaders was structured and strategic so that there were no surprises about who I was as a professional, a creative, or team mate. By managing up, I wrote my own narrative. I didn’t leave any room for interpretation and it paid off…literally.

I went hard

I’m STILL going hard and what I’ve been telling my leaders is as continue to I do impactful work, I expect to be compensated and recognized fairly. I don’t know where my balls of steel came from, but I’ve become very intentional and downright frank when it comes to talking about my work and my money. I’m not shy about it anymore. I work really hard and I’ve seen so many people of color and women get passed over, and paid unfairly. There have been times in my life when I KNEW I was being unfairly paid. I didn’t have a model or a clue of where to begin advocating for myself but I realize it starts with undeniably amazing work. I don’t have the luxury of getting anything because my work is “good,” I have no choice but to present amazing work if I want anything. But in the same token, if we don’t feel we’re appreciated, we have every right to make a move. Just not during the pandemic though. Don’t quit your lil job talking about “DeAndre said if they don’t appreciate me, leave.” Girl, that’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying you don’t have to work anywhere for 20+ years while only making peanuts and getting passed over. Okay, off my soapbox.

I know every company is different and everyone won’t have the same experience as me. But I wanted to share this because I never thought I deserved to ask for what I wanted. It took a little bit of pre-work before I got comfortable, but my foundation was/is I wholeheartedly believe in fair and equitable pay, and in my work. I continuously research the average comp in my field and ask for what I think I deserve within that band of pay. And when I first became seriously interested in advocating for myself, I took time to learn my company’s culture around pay and how it worked for others. The biggest lesson I learned was identifying that moment, in my gut, when I was confident enough to ask. I had to feel this with my whole self. I, repeat, believed in my work with my whole entire self. I had the results to back my request up and I knew I couldn’t sit on that. I would have only done myself a disservice and set myself back financially for years.

Now, if you’re reading this and have negotiation tips to share- I’m sure other people would love to read them. Oh yeah, I almost forgot! Without going too deep, I received just about everything I asked for and it will be life-changing for me. Your girl is officially not struggling and I want you to win and thrive too! <3

-D. Wright

With all that’s going on in the world, I wanted to offer you guys up a little bit of inspiration. A friend of mine gave me some of the most amazing advice a few weeks back and it’s seriously been changing my life.

[su_quote cite=”Take your work one step at a time. Take life one small step at a time.

-Ameerah”][/su_quote]

Yes… I’ve heard it before (you probably have too), like so many other amazing nuggets of wisdom from family and friends over the years. I guess I honestly wasn’t in the place to apply it to my life. Maybe I only listened and didn’t really hear. I don’t know, but I now realize how much following through on these small useful offerings can impact a life.

I’m learning that when you’re ready to make real progress, good advice will withstand the test of time. Ameerah didn’t know it then, but she was confirming what I needed to hear to get me to the next level. I needed to hear that I didn’t have to build Rome in a day. My success will come with small, daily efforts.

Working on this blog has been a huge undertaking for me. I thought I had to have it up in one night and make money off of it immediately, but it took me about a week or so to get it up and I’m currently working on monetization. With executing at least one task, daily, I’m continuously working on ways to improve my business as well as get it running the way I’d like. I now make sure to never end my day without one task going towards my blog. That could be making small edits, writing out an idea, editing a graphic… it could be anything. I just make sure to have at least one thing done.

I’m also carrying this mentality and discipline into other important aspects of my life. It felt like there weren’t enough hours in the day and used to really struggle at finishing songs or making time to work at my musical pursuits. Now I have a sure-fire plan to get my art done and have projects completed in a more non-stressful way. I’d like to think I’m #teamwinning over here. If I keep this up, who knows where I will be in a year!

So…let’s get real. What about you? What advice can you recall hearing that could get you to your next level? If you can’t think of anything off the bat, take some time to listen. Listen to the folks around you that are wise and have your best interests at heart. Then maybe reflect on some of the advice you might have heard but overlooked.

Now is the best time to make major strides towards your goals. Don’t let the moment pass you by! <3

-D.Wright

When I was a little girl I felt I could do anything. I believed in the limitless possibilities of my life. Shoot, I believed in it for everyone around me too. Life was full of enchantment and seemed almost surreal to experience. I dreamed, and even more so, I believed in my dreams with an almost blindly optimistic assurance. I felt unstoppable.

Looking back, I know it’s a little naive but I thought I could be anything I wanted and knew in every crevice of my soul that I was special. I would look in the mirror and be in awe of being present. How magical it was to wake up everyday feeling my small speck of a life could create a rippling effect in the universe.

I imagine it’s what people who accomplish great things realize about themselves early on and consistently nurture. For the rest of us, however, we struggle with maintaining that fearlessness and confidence riding throughout our lives. We realize we have potential, but are sometimes afraid to embrace our limitless possibilities.

How can we get past that old “you have SO much potential” bit, totally meant as a compliment but as painful as a paper-cut? How can we move and operate in our child-like fearlessness?

These are the questions I’m beginning to answer for myself and I challenge you to consider your own ways of pushing past potential and into your complete being.

Be Your Best Self

It’s really amazing, the people we fantasize about being. Strong, confident, charismatic, brilliant… that’s the woman I daydream to echo. I imagine myself walking in a room and being able to master my verbal exchanges with even the toughest of conversationalist.

Now, who do I think I am? You’ll be surprised to know I believe I’m the biggest goof and woman-child in the history of nerd-dom. I know that’s no way to operate as an adult so I’ve decided to test drive the woman I truly want to become. I will operate in her greatness until it becomes second nature. While I still might tell the occasional awkward joke or laugh at inappropriate moments out of nervousness, I’ve decided to believe I can be amazing and to act impulsively on that feeling.

Be Creative

Some of the most wildly successful people we hear about today are contributing to the world in some of the most niche ways.

These people carve out their very own spaces in various industries and change our lives because of their adventuring spirits. These innovators pull from what they love and build. They are Lego Masters. They invent their own worlds and we then live in it. They are not afraid to create and share and fail and create some more.

I say why not act and live in your creativity, and invite everyone else to join you? Every day you build is not only a step out of potential-land but into the life you imagine for yourself and a step to the finished result people actually desire to see from you.

And while we all know it’s not about what others think of you, when you need to show and prove your work, you definitely need to be able to provide examples to back your self-proclaimed worth. I’m realizing, if I want people to think I’m an awesome writer and I haven’t been hired onto a team, I have to get creative. I have to craft my own world and pull people to it. Maybe I’ll want to be hired or maybe I’ll be the hire-er after that, who knows,  but the point is, I won’t be a potential writer of  <name that company> that could specialize in this cool thing. I WILL be that writer of Sounds About Wright. I will be that writer that got scrappy and built my skill off of my own creativity.

Be About It

I always thought it was insane how many of us (as children) would flip off tables, monkey bars, couches or just anything in our vicinities. We would reach for the sky with the tips of our toes while swinging to see if we could touch a cloud, spin ourselves silly until we dropped to test our speed, and randomly consume the most disgusting, asinine things just for research. We would just do it. Whatever it was, we committed to doing everything weird under the sun to learn and process what was real or possible.

Now, as a big kid, we don’t have to be complete lunatics but we can definitely decide to act. Do something! Go for that new job, create a new process and present it to your team, write that blog, take those photos and sell your art. Just do something! As the saying goes, “Don’t talk about it, be about it.” It’s time for us to be about our greatness and share it with the world.

Now tell me… what are you doing to push past your potential?

-D.Wright