It’s that lovely time of year when I either freak out on getting older and assess everything I did or didn’t accomplish over the last year orrrrrrrr sit in a space of immense gratitude for just being alive, living the amazing life I have. This year I choose gratitude. And I’m gonna do my best to keep this feeling with me for the rest of my life.
I’ll try to keep this short (but y’all know me LOL). Today, I’m dirty-THURTY-six. YES honey…36, and when I tell y’all I’m grown a grown freaggin woman, I mean every bit of it! The crazy thing is how much I love being in my 30s and having the freedom of mind and spirit that I’ve gained over the last 6 years of my life.
I didn’t always have that appreciation. When I turned 30, I had a literal nervous break down- remind me to tell y’all about that mess another day. Everything was happening all at once, and I felt like my life was falling a part. Music wasn’t where I wanted it to be, my finances, my love life, my lil heart was just going through it…but my faith and my family, and wonderful friends lifted me up and rallied for me at a dark time I never saw ending. So today, I’m saying cheers to my-effin’-self for being a strong, big-hearted, talented, crazy, fun woman in a time when age isn’t celebrated and the wisdom that comes with it isn’t always appreciated. I’m so glad to be here, just where I am.
Now here it is…everyone always starts asking these crazy questions. I don’t have a secret husband or kids, and maybe one day that will all come to me but I do have an adorable little dog I adore, the most loyal family who loves me, beautiful friends who never falter, an amazing job that allows me to do creative and impactful work that affects lives all the world and me. I have me. And I will live every day of my life reminding myself that internal/external ageism, negative self-talk, doubt, fear, and toxicity no longer serve me or have a place in my life.
I’m letting it burn and today -as far as I’m concerned- is my new year celebration. I’m breaking down walls and it’s scary to share with you all but I have to. I have to be myself. I can’t hide anymore.
So tell me— have you ever weighed yourself down with things that just make no real sense? If you have, what are you willing to finally let go? It’s time friends. It’s time. Cheers to us. <3