Today I had a good cry.

The truth is I don’t feel safe or protected as a Black person, or woman.

Every day of my life I’m aware of my perceived inferior birthright. And each year, it pierces me a little bit deeper. I become more sensitive to it and it painfully eats away at my heart. Being Black and female is one of the highest taxes to pay in this country. Out the womb, I couldn’t hide…we can’t hide. When I became conscious of who I was, I almost immediately knew I was doomed to deal with a lifetime of B.S. I absolutely couldn’t help because of how others naturally perceived me.

Truthfully, I feel disposable. Now here is the crazy part…I know I’m strong, and powerful, smart, resilient, gifted and yet here I sit with broken self-esteem that only improves when I accomplish a thing. How many of us feel like we have to accomplish a thing just to be worthy? My therapist swears this is the recipe for a disastrous burnout and I agree. But the pressure is on because in the back of my mind I know that I, We, Black women are expendable in this society and we have to act to belong. We have to do things to be valued. We have to prove ourselves to be deemed worthy. I’ve heard this sentiment expressed in variety of ways from many women, I just never realized what it was. We’re stepping stones to our men, the unhealthy crutches for our families, the overworked and under-appreciated-slash-paid at our jobs. Fetishized, over-sexualized, and drained of our sensuality and joy until we have nothing left to give. Then we’re passed on when we’ve given…everything. We’re left feeling useless and wondering “why.” So I cried for us today.

I cried, because I wish people knew just how awesome we were. I wish we didn’t have to fight to be thought of as more than 3/5’s of a human, or smart, capable, and not just some aggressive Black b**tches or “whores” that are ran through and emptied. I cried because Black women are phenomenal even through brokenness and the only folks that cry for us, are…us.

The media has repeatedly perpetuated the stereotype of us with trash behavior, gold digging tendencies, and as people who hate and fight one another but I haven’t experienced it in my life that way. I do acknowledge that negativity exists and stereotypes stem from real places, however there are so many of us who lift one another up. The people I feel who most love and protect me are Black women. We are our “for better, or for worse.”

And I cried because the Black women I know are dynamic and beautiful. We are not perfect and we have shortcomings just as everyone else, but we are forgotten. Who is the ally to a Black woman in America? Who invests back into us? Who doesn’t take from us emotionally, physically, or culturally without giving back? Who comes back to say “thank you” for what we’ve contributed, for the leadership we’ve provided, and for the life we breathe into this world? Who celebrates Queens? Other Queens.

My therapist told me I was grieving today. I didn’t even know my emotional shutdown was to protect me from how I truly feel…alone, unless surrounded by the love of Black women. Again I say, we are our for better or for worse—we are each other’s keepers.

Forget the Will and Jada drama. Breonna Taylor deserves better. Black women deserve better. Underrepresented people deserve better. And if you are a Black woman reading this- know that you are loved, you are appreciated, and you are everything.

With Love,

Your sister, cousin, friend <3

-D.Wright

From left to right: JJ, Quiana, Ky, Crystal, and Ashley.

I know, I know. You’re probably wondering how quitters could possibly win but I’m here to tell you quitters can indeed win. Quitters can win when they quit the dead end jobs that hold them back from pursuing more fulfilling and financially lucrative livelihoods. At least that’s what business coach Miara Shaw proposed to a room full of super fly and ambitious women on last Saturday.

This is one of those ironic stories because I wasn’t really expecting to go, I already had plans. I didn’t find out about the panel until the week of and if you know anything about Houston and this last weekend, EVERYTHING was going on. I knew that Pride was going to be a big deal and that I had a scholarship banquet to attend, but when I saw the flyer, I knew I needed to be in the room (thanks Ashley)! I had to make it happen however I could. I rushed from my great-aunt’s banquet (even at the protest of my mom), waited 15 minutes on valet while observing colorfully dressed and scantily clad people excitedly heading to the parade, and then zipped over The Star off of Rusk for the big event. It was less than five minutes away from the banquet location and there was complimentary valet. I’m telling you, it was meant to be.

Miara dropping jewels.

The building was beautiful, so I knew I would be in for a treat. I, sadly, was a little late but popped in right while introductions were being made. As I walked through the small audience, I saw bright smiles and fabulous outfits. Everyone was dressed to the nines. I was greeted by a sweet woman in yellow, who turned out to be the Ms. Miara and immediately took my seat.  There sat life coach Quiana Larae, media personality Ky Meyer, (athlete, author, and Ebony/Jet Magazine strategic partnership manager) Crystal Hadnott and  my buddy (founder and president of Medley Inc.) Ashley Small in living color. Mediating was Miara and media personality JJ. It was so cool. I had seen these women working different projects and events all over the city but now had the opportunity to sit in on a super candid conversation about their moves from traditional career paths to entrepreneurship.

They didn’t wast any time either and dug right in. The topics ranged from transitioning from your old job to tips on strategizing your new work flow for entrepreneurial ventures. It was like they were there just to tell me how to run full speed ahead into my new life. They gave in depth perspective on living purposeful lives, branding, confidence boosters and all kinds of other cool topics as well. Everyone felt so familiar and kindred. And when it was close to wrapping up, they encouraged us all to network and to get to know one another. It was a blast. I met so many new faces and got re-acquainted with familiar ones.

The intimate “Quitters Do Win!” panel at The Star.

This panel was definitely the boost I needed to keep my stamina up for this season of my hustle. I’m so glad I was able to attend and I’ll definitely continue to invest in myself by popping in to more meaningful networking events like these.

Is there anything that you are doing to motivate yourself while working at your current job or preparing for a transition into another field? Please share, I’d love to hear all about it! <3

-D. Wright